He also told me him wanting to take a break is not over another girl or finding another girl. I have a lot of stuff of mine that I left at his house and he knows that it's there. He never said he wants nothing to do with me or wants it to be over. He told me he cares about me but he just wants to take a break and have some space. Ex- I ask him to do something on my car and he would kind of complain but if his mom asked he'd do it no problem and that would piss me off because he complains about doing it for me but goes ahead and does it for his mom. We would hang out a lot, every night and would talk or text on the phone a lot during the day. “If someone says that the timing is off, that doesn’t warrant a break it calls for taking things slow.My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. Self-help books list timing as one of the most important factors in finding love, but Edwards thinks the “wrong time” is the wrong reason for taking a break. “If there’s a flicker of possibility for you and your partner, you don’t want to muddy that by involving someone else.” Don’t use this reason to take a break - it doesn’t apply “Other people will interfere with your clarity,” she says.

READ MORE: Experts say too much time online can be harmful to your relationships “If you’re interested in dating other people, then maybe the real message is that the person you’re with isn’t the one you want.”Įdwards agrees, and says that bringing another person, or people, into the mix will only further confuse things. “This is the time to be reflecting on your own relationship,” Bilotta says. Besides, that’s not what a break is about. Agreeing to see other people creates a potential minefield of conflict, jealousy and insecurity, both during the break and any subsequent reunion. There’s no point in taking a break if you’re not going to be honest about how you’re truly feeling.” “If you don’t miss them, acknowledge that, and if you don’t want to be together, say it. Be frank about your feelings, or potential lack thereof, for the other person. Be honestĭon’t lie to yourself, Bilotta says. It’s difficult to do that when the person raising those questions is still hanging around - not to mention that it defeats the point of the break altogether. “You have to consciously focus on your own healing and answering your own questions.” And there’s a tendency to go back to that person to fill that void,” Edwards says. “That person was filling a big part of your life, whether it was emotional or physical, and when they’re no longer there it creates a natural void. This is a time to reflect and figure out if you want that other person in your life, and to determine whether or not they’re contributing to your happiness. READ MORE: Being attractive could actually put your relationship in jeopardy You can’t remain in touch and continue checking in with each other.”

Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together.Ī break is exactly that, Edwards says.

Six months is a break up, not a break, the experts say. This is also the time to discuss logistics like how long the break should last and whether you should remain in contact. “Determine what the break will mean to you and what it will mean to your partner,” Bilotta says.ĭo you need space? Does one of you want to see other people? This will help set expectations and hopefully set the path for a smooth break. You shouldn’t request a break in a moment of anger, sit down with your partner and have a frank discussion about why it’s necessary. “Before deciding on taking a break, however, you need to set boundaries and discuss how it will play out.” Have a conversation “It’s important to spend time by yourself to reflect on what’s happening in your relationship and what you want the outcome to be,” says Laura Bilotta, a Toronto-based matchmaker and dating coach.

My boyfriend wants to take a break